How to find your Soul Mate: A Lesson for the Semi-oblivious

Dude, have you SEEN The Bachelor franchise? I’ll confess – it’s my absolute reality TV guilty pleasure, and heaven forbid someone tries to interrupt my viewing indulgence.

This past week was the premiere of Juan Pablo’s season (Start Googling and you’ll see abs before you finish typing his name), and the drama is already in high gear.

The man, the myth, the abs. Juan Pablo Galavis.
Courtesy of: justjared.com

I usually just view for leisure and don’t really think too much into it – they’re all kinda crazy in the end anyway to risk such publicity, I think, and maybe a little desperate for something. They put themselves out there for “all of America” to analyze, and 27 drop dead gorgeous women all try to convince one slightly confused guy that he is their match, heaven sent.

9/27 chicas looking to swoon Juan Pablo with bad Spanish and jokes about being a mom to his daughter. Courtesy of: aceshowbiz.com

9/27 chicas who are looking to woo Juan Pablo with bad Spanish and talk about mothering his daughter. Courtesy of: aceshowbiz.com

Alright ladies…27 of you don’t all have the same soul mate. I’m definitely not an expert on the whole matchmaking-for-life front, but come ON. At least the District Attorney, Andi, seems to have her act together.

She was one of the only girls who approached Juan Pablo with any sense of expected reciprocity – like she needed to see if he was right for her, too. Not just, “Hi, I’m *insert name here* and I can’t wait to talk to you more because I think I’m your girl!” With 27 others lined up to say the same, I guess you can call that love-at-first-sight on steroids.

There are a few things – and only a few (maybe more than a few, but we’ll start with the basics) – that you need to know before you embark on the “journey” that is apparently finding your soul mate.

Don’t call it a journey. Besides it being overly cliché, life is a journey, and finding your one is a super crazy (or not so crazy) ride in the midst of it.
Let shit happen as it may. Some opportunities are actually once in a lifetime. When that opportunity comes with someone, don’t fret if timing isn’t exactly how you had once envisioned it, back when you were planning your fairytale ever after. Go with the flow, and if it’s meant to be, fate will work itself out somehow anyways.
Be gutsy and a little crazy, but only a little. Pulling the whole I’m-going-to-use-reality-television-to-find-my-husband card is a little far-fetched. But pulling the whole I’m-going-to-date-the-guy-who-helped-run-my-freshmen-college-program? Different story.
Patience is a virtue…BE PATIENT. JUST BE PATIENT. Being gutsy is different than being pushy, and forcing something to happen isn’t going to end with a walk down the aisle; it’s more likely to end in heartbreak lane. I’m so so so SO bad with patience (it’s actually one of my resolutions-ish from here on out – check out UN-resolutions here), so I feel you – it’s incredibly hard to wait for what you want. You want your own fairytale someday, and whether or not you think it’s for age 18, 23, or 29, you want it when you want it, when you’re ready, on your time. Start practicing patience now, so that you can still enjoy your dating process and your life in general, regardless of how ready you are and how ready your supposed Prince Charming is or is not.
…So is keeping yourself clothed. I’m all for the “you do you” mentality, but here’s one that I think is a bit tried and true. If you sleep with someone on the first date, it might put you more in “booty call” territory instead of “let’s bring her to the parents” land. Strip with caution.

The Bachelor is one helluvah “journey.” Props to the women who can go into that process and come out alive, with their dignity, confidence, and happiness intact. I, for one, would be an emotional wreck right from the start, definitely not loving the idea that my wannabe hubby would be making out with other girls, especially right in front of my face (that’s just bad all around). It’d be a big vat of bubbling insecurities and fears, no doubt.

Credit is due, though, to my two favorite still-couples (!) from The Bachelor franchise who seem to have made it: the married Ashley and JP, and the engaged Des and Chris.

Ash and JP. My personal favorite Bachelor duo.
Courtesy of: people.com

But, I think they might’ve just gotten lucky. Their special person rode up to meet them in a limo and worked for three-ish months (seriously) to woo and win over a heart and a promise of marriage.

Behind the gastronomically huge bill that ABC foots for a tropical, exotic, and romantic “perfect place to fall in love,” I think it comes down to the actual people and a genuine connection (duh, right?), because there, location shouldn’t matter. Oprah said it best: “Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”

Cheers to the people who look for their forever bus buddy, and the people who’ll push the bus when that breaks down, too. After all – it IS one heck of a ride.

What do YOU think are the keys to finding your soul mate, your special someone, forever bus buddy and partner in crime? I’d love to hear your comments below!

lovelovelove,