I’ve always been a hopeless romantic, wanting that lucky-in-love feeling of sheer butterfly-laden bliss that comes from meeting “my person.” Some of us go through some nutso relationships on the way to finding our soul mate, couldn’t-live-without-ya, partner in crime of a companion. But eventually, something feels different…
When you think you’ve found “The One”…
1.) Think again. Whoa, whoa, whoa, I’m totally not dissing soulmate status – I’m an age-old believer in fate and better-than-a-T-Swift-fairytale love. I just mean think again. And never stop thinking. Constantly re-evaluate and assess your relationship, what it brings to you and what you bring to it. Think how you can be your best self, and if your other half helps you get to that level.
2.) Get in a fight. Now, don’t go getting irrationally petty or raging Hulk on anyone here. BUT. If you’ve been with someone for a significant period of time (enough to consider yourself “serious” about said someone), and you have yet to argue with them, refer back to point 1. We’re all blissfully imperfect humans – we get all emotional or angry or exhausted or pissy cos “it’s that time of the month” (lookin’ at you during Fantasy sports season, boys – HA!), and we take it out on other people. But you absolutely havehavehave to get in a fight with someone – and resolve it – before moving “one-ward” (you know, onward to the one?). If you both go silent, your relationship will too – it might just not work. If your “one” screams and proceeds to eat all of the Ben & Jerry’s in the freezer, you might have to turn around, grab the ice cream and run. Regardless, figuring out your significant other’s argument style is completely essential to figuring out if this person is the person with whom you can occasionally argue, but mostly laugh, have incredible convos, watch Pixar movies and listen to The Lumineers with, for the rest of eternity.
3.) Get in a pillow fight. Because who doesn’t love a good pillow fight? End with snuggles and conversation about your hopes and loves and wildest dreams. That’s a night well spent.
4.) Scream it from the rooftops. If you’re not comfortable screaming your love from the rooftops, than it might not be the love that’s meant to be yours for the next few decades. If you’re acrophobic (read: heights are not your friend), but you’re at least both spreading the verbal love for one another to anyone in earshot, that’s a good sign.
5.) Hold onto it with all you’ve got. Put time into it. Put love into it. Put effort and thought and passion into it. Don’t ever take it for granted, because the second you do, you’ll see it slip away. If it’s the best thing to ever happen to you, why in the name of all that is good would you risk giving that up? Love takes so much work, and sometimes it hurts. Sometimes it’s terrifying – loving someone so much, giving them your all, and knowing that that same person can rip it all out from you. Love anyway. Try anyway. Give your 100% anyway. Because in the end, it’s the only way to make something really beautiful and magical.
Someday, I hope Boyfriend and I are like this couple. This 80-year strong couple. He’s 101 and she’s 97, and they hold the record for longest-married couple in the U.S. Their secret? “80 years of really living.” That’s how you know you’ve found your one. I swear, that must be it. Cheers to really living.
What do you think it takes to find your “One”? What does it feel like? What does it look like? Sound off your love comments below!