When you think you’ve found “The One”…

I’ve always been a hopeless romantic, wanting that lucky-in-love feeling of sheer butterfly-laden bliss that comes from meeting “my person.” Some of us go through some nutso relationships on the way to finding our soul mate, couldn’t-live-without-ya, partner in crime of a companion. But eventually, something feels different…

 When you think you’ve found “The One”…

1.)    Think again. Whoa, whoa, whoa, I’m totally not dissing soulmate status – I’m an age-old believer in fate and better-than-a-T-Swift-fairytale love. I just mean think again. And never stop thinking. Constantly re-evaluate and assess your relationship, what it brings to you and what you bring to it. Think how you can be your best self, and if your other half helps you get to that level.

2.)    Get in a fight. Now, don’t go getting irrationally petty or raging Hulk on anyone here. BUT. If you’ve been with someone for a significant period of time (enough to consider yourself “serious” about said someone), and you have yet to argue with them, refer back to point 1. We’re all blissfully imperfect humans – we get all emotional or angry or exhausted or pissy cos “it’s that time of the month” (lookin’ at you during Fantasy sports season, boys – HA!), and we take it out on other people. But you absolutely havehavehave to get in a fight with someone – and resolve it – before moving “one-ward” (you know, onward to the one?). If you both go silent, your relationship will too – it might just not work. If your “one” screams and proceeds to eat all of the Ben & Jerry’s in the freezer, you might have to turn around, grab the ice cream and run. Regardless, figuring out your significant other’s argument style is completely essential to figuring out if this person is the person with whom you can occasionally argue, but mostly laugh, have incredible convos, watch Pixar movies and listen to The Lumineers with, for the rest of eternity.

3.)    Get in a pillow fight. Because who doesn’t love a good pillow fight? End with snuggles and conversation about your hopes and loves and wildest dreams. That’s a night well spent.

4.)    Scream it from the rooftops. If you’re not comfortable screaming your love from the rooftops, than it might not be the love that’s meant to be yours for the next few decades. If you’re acrophobic (read: heights are not your friend), but you’re at least both spreading the verbal love for one another to anyone in earshot, that’s a good sign.

5.)    Hold onto it with all you’ve got. Put time into it. Put love into it. Put effort and thought and passion into it. Don’t ever take it for granted, because the second you do, you’ll see it slip away. If it’s the best thing to ever happen to you, why in the name of all that is good would you risk giving that up? Love takes so much work, and sometimes it hurts. Sometimes it’s terrifying – loving someone so much, giving them your all, and knowing that that same person can rip it all out from you. Love anyway. Try anyway. Give your 100% anyway. Because in the end, it’s the only way to make something really beautiful and magical.

Someday, I hope Boyfriend and I are like this couple. This 80-year strong couple. He’s 101 and she’s 97, and they hold the record for longest-married couple in the U.S. Their secret? “80 years of really living.” That’s how you know you’ve found your one. I swear, that must be it. Cheers to really living.

What do you think it takes to find your “One”? What does it feel like? What does it look like? Sound off your love comments below!

lovelovelove,

E

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6 thoughts on “When you think you’ve found “The One”…

  1. I think finding “The One” is something we are all curious about. I would like to believe in fate, believe that there truly is one person out there for you, your so-called soul mate. Maybe I’m bitter, maybe I’m stinted from previous relationships and previous experiences, maybe I just haven’t found “The One”. But I wonder, what if you never meet the one, what if you think you found “the one” (and have all those lovey dovey feelings) but actually you haven’t and by just being with that person, you have lost your chance at actually meeting and being with “the real one”…if all this happens could we go along with our lives, never having met that special person and be just fine (by ourselves or even with another person who isn’t “the one”)?

    • I totally agree with you – it’s such a scary thought at times. And I guess you never REALLY know 100% if the person you’re with is THE person, but what fun would it be if we never took a chance to find out? We don’t have enough time in our lives to experiment with every fish in the sea, so when we find the one that’s going on our same current, we just keep swimming and call it fate. Something like that, right? Hahaha I can’t wait until the day you find your One, A (;

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  3. I love the idea of this, but what on earth do you do when you’ve found someone who you really feel whole with, and he feels the same – and all the little things other people find irritating about us both we love about each other (devotion to work, hobbies etc) – but you both live 200 miles apart and can’t find a way to be together through our devotion to work, hobbies etc That’s the bit I struggle with…. its such a huge leap of faith to take its paralyzing.

    • I’ve only had 200+ miles between the Love and I for one summer, while I studied abroad in Europe. And it was HEARTWRENCHINGLY difficult, even for a relatively short period of time, so I can’t imagine how hard t must be for you having that be a more regular thing!
      But, I live by “everything happens for a reason.”
      If you think you’ve found your “one,” maybe timing just isn’t right just yet to explore it further or settle down. Maybe one of you has something in store that would be put at risk – or, the relationship would end up at risk – if you were closer together now.
      If you’re religious at all, I’ve always found that prayer helps qualm the fears and worries and anxieties…because for me, sometimes that’s the only thing I can find strength in to get through.
      Leaps of faith…they can be magical. Don’t write it off completely. ❤

      lovelovelove,
      Erica

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